i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize