on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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