i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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