How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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