where am i from again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
