ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
