i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
two words: eviction party
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
