how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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