I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
