True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
