So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he puts the penis in happiness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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