shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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