my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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