dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
