fuck your aforementioned shoe
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we're so committed to being not committed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
