Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
