Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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