im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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