Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that