I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?