I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
