I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
