Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
