Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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