I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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