Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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