i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
