She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i've created a new STD.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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