what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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