guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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