she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
