I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
