White coat. Heels.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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