She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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