I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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