how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
