Say something about gay babies.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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