Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize