how can u be prego again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
