Moan for me like Helen Keller
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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