I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
