once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
