got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
