I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
