Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think my moral compass just broke
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize