I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
