well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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