3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
