Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
