Don't make out with my wife yet
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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