Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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