I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
