Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
