GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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