North Korea, Best Korea!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
