I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
